Do I really enjoy photography? A few years back, I would have answered a resounding YES! But nowadays, the answer is not so straight forward. Feeling a obsessive, compulsive need to snap the perfect photo is not really a good life style.
Since when did a hobby turn into a burden? Maybe it happened when I upgraded my camera from a compact to a larger prosumer model. Photography became not just a psychological burden, but a physical burden around my neck as well.
In my trip to Germany last year, I made 4 trips to the same Church over 2 days. The photos looked fine when I initially took it. But after leaving the Church and reviewing them outside, they were obviously underexposed. It was the dim indoor lighting that tricked them into looking different on the LCD.
It was a beautiful church. So ancient and grand. I was overwhelmed by emotion when I first stepped in. I really wanted to capture it looking as beautiful as it was. To do anything less would not have done the place justice.
So I went back again…and yet again… each time showing a bit of improvement, but still not exactly what I wanted. Each time, I spent like 30 mins to an hour just experimenting with different camera settings, maneuvering from one angle to another, and waiting patiently for other tourists to move out of the way… just so that I could snap that perfect photo. I was traveling alone so I had the luxury of catering to my whims. No travel companion would have been so tolerant.
At one point, my poor mini-tripod kicked off a leg and collapsed in protest. No matter. We persevered and somehow managed to screw back the missing screw without using a screwdriver. And we eventually got the photos we wanted.
I’m really proud of those photos now. And I value them a lot more than all my other photos because it has my blood and sweat all over it. But was I being too obsessive? Maybe.
So do I still want to take photos? Yes. I just need to remind myself to do things in moderation. And remember that I own the camera, not the other way round. Then I should be fine.
3 comments:
You travelled Germany all alone? That's really cool, girl.
I like this entry. It's got depth.
I had a similar experience. At one time I had a simple-to-understand SLR where I could pick the exposure and it would do the F-stop or vise versa. I loved it and used it extensively on vacation. Then I replaced it with a higher end SLR, with more automatic functions and lots of menus (the old had no menus), and got a bunch of lens for it
I never did like the new camera, it not only gave me too many options but little things like the power button taking like, 5 pounds of force, to turn on and off really annoyed me. Most likely, unknown to me, the fun was wearing off and getting the new camera merely accelerated what was happening anyway. But I do miss that old camera even today.
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