My Lasik Surgery

I finally did it. Went and got my eyes lasered after years of thinking about it. My procedure is called intralase custom lasik. Supposed to be one of the latest technology and costed me a cool RM6K.

Surgery day itself went well. Felt a bit nervous but was also excited. It wasn't like my wisdom tooth surgery last year which was just UGHHS. There was no pain at all and just slight physical discomfort. The freaky part was psychological. It was a spooky feeling, being pinned down by your eyes. You are fully conscious and can see all the lights, hear the sounds, smells...

There were 2 nurses assisting the doctor. One of the nurses kept talking to me through-out the procedure. I think they need to keep the patient as calm as possible so we can follow instructions and minimize eye movement. They gave me a valium tablet before the operation so that probably helped a lot.

After the op, I could see but vision was hazy. I had to wear the eye-guard and take a 3-hr nap. When I woke up, my vision was supposed to be much better.

But when I woke up, my vision didn't seem any improved. By then, it was night time. I had been told to expect to see glare and halos, which will slowly reduce over time. But being told that you will see halos and actually seeing them is 2 different things.

Here's a pic showing what a normal person sees..... and what I started seeing...



So the scary part for me was not the surgery itself. It was the night after the surgery when I saw lights 3X as big and started to get freaked out. Thinking...omg... what if something has gone wrong and I'm stuck with this for the rest of my life??!!

There's a lot of online literature about lasik surgery and post-operative complications. I found this blog site where lots of ppl write about their experiences and provide a support group for each other.

http://www.mylasiksurgery.com/?page_id=2

As of today, I've completed my 1-week post-surgery eye check and doc says everything is healing well. I actually have 20/20 vision in my left eye. The glare and halos are still there but doc says it will slowly diminish over the next few months. Doc is happy with my results as my previous power was high. If doc is happy, that's good enough for me then. I can be patient and wait :-)

People are Real

This seems like a weird subject. I mean, it's obvious that people are real. Unless they are ghosts or some walking undead. But how real are they?

This was one of the great questions of life that bugged me when I was a little girl. "Are people really real???" Or are they just little clock-work people who only spring to life when I am around. They have no lifes or feelings of their own. I tried to ask my all-knowing Mom. But either I did not know how to phrase my thoughts or she had no idea what I was puzzling about. I always got some generic answer like... "this is the mystery of life". Hmm... not very satisfying to a young girl's curiousity. But as the years went by, I gave up trying to find an answer and gave my beleagured Mom a rest.

Fast forward to year 2008, as I have grown grey and wise in my old age, I can say for sure that People Are Real!! But in the same context, many other things have been slowly dawning upon me which are still puzzling for an old lady.

Do we really accept that the people surrounding us everyday are as real as us and have real lifes of their own? Every difficulty that we face and every doubt that we have... may be experienced by them as well?

It's easier to live in a nice 2-D world where people only exist per their function in your universe. Your interaction with them only goes as far as the function you do for each other. You can be friendly and yet impersonal. After they leave the room or hang up the telephone, they cease to exist as far as you are concerned.

Maybe sometimes we choose to blind ourselves to the facts. It's easier to shut one's eyes and close one's ears. The less we know, the less we will feel, and the easier it is to behave. If you start to see everyone as individuals of their own, living their own lifes and having their own problems... things can start to get a bit overwhelming. You'll need to think twice before acting and maybe act against your liking.

If we could label people we dislike as "bad", that gives us the license to hate them without carrying any guilt. But if you really took time to understand the "bad" person and put yourself in their shoes, you may realize that the "bad" person may no longer be bad. Just miguided, or maybe they behave that way due to reasons of their own (cue: insert long complicated story here). How then can you hate someone who is not bad after all? Oh no... that means maybe the blame is also mine! Hmm.... things start to get complicated eh?

To survive in the big world out there is not easy. Business is business. Rules need to be followed. We can't be a "softie" and we can't make everyone happy. Sometimes you yourself are not having a good day. But it will be good if sometimes, in the midst of our busy day, before pinning a judgement on someone or lashing out in anger, we just pause and try to see the other person as a REAL person.